Neurotic Dissolution

1.

I’ve missed the kiss of affliction, the depraved feel of betrayal.
The soft and dark and delicate, warm; close to me.
And lips and love and heart – bleed and gush and trickle in coagulate streams of envy
As slowly begins the need to free you of my thoughts.
I’ve missed the kiss of affliction, the aching kiss
Before I sustain the scent of your heart and youthful eyes and the melody
It makes when it severs deep in me; the obsession for deception.

And I know you never said you’d stay to the end, or even for a while,
So you say goodbye with ice; I’m praying for prevalence.
Screaming in hopes of colliding with you again.
You left me screaming with no photographs to burn, just pictures of sadness,
Blurs on the movie screen, smudges on my imaginarium.
Lullabies about you coming back whispered in dreams,
And only you knew how this ending would be.

2.

Shattering like I’m made of glass, catching my breath –
Afraid to sleep again cause you’ll only appear to walk away
Over and over – the dream never stops unraveling around me.
Now that you know I’ve been disintegrating to pieces,
Will you tear out my heart again and dispense it to anyone
Shedding tears for tenderness, or pity…
The hurrah for falling through the glass sky –
It’s so much simpler to get to Heaven than ever feel whole again
Close to you.

You never said you’d stay to the end, or even a day,
Screaming, peeling the gaping hole of treachery wider.
Pictures of sadness and no pictures of you,
Blemishes on the arcade, dots swallowing the avenue –
Dark at one in the morning, and only once to forever.
The blur of your memory still burns;
The same lyric of you turning around uttered in dreams, over and over.
And only you knew how this ending would be.
Did you know how the end always is?
This is how it always ends for me.

ProFlowers

5.

In 24 hours, she'll be here
cause she has to be.
It's not the best way to meet,
but it's all I have left.

4.

In a fit of desperation,
I sent her a bouquet
of coffins filled with blood -
it once was love -
rotten and sour.

3.

You fractured me
with treachery
and watched me deteriorate
in hopelessness;
dreams of you in vain.

2.

That night
all my answeres were questioned.
And I borrowed every ounce
of optimism I could find
only to set it free
as you did to me.

1.

Far colder than
the temperature outside,
freezing the flowers
that fall dead
in my trunk.

Sleep is Blasphemy

***

The television couldn't decide whether
static or darkness were more attractive.

Night shattered the porcelain
with plastic quarters.
A poor craft
ensnared in a magic trap.

**

And then there was the cop;
but since when was complaining a crime?

"There are over 100 symptoms for anxiety,"
and I'm lucky enough to have greeted them all.
So pour me the sky,
and suffer with me a while.

*

Sudden jolts and head zaps,
I open my eyes to sleep -
She's been there so many times
as so many different people

Until the pipes burst
and out spill the balloons.